Selfish it is?

Am I being selfish to this heart desire of mine. Wanting to text him a simple goodnight,and that everything will be alright. I just can't lie to myself, fuck this shit. This feeling is wavering again. No matter how much the tree try not to break down, but the wind never ease. This is exactly how I feel right now. I'm near to a bitch who can steal someone else's boyfriend. Yeah,but still so near yet so far to that kind of desperation. So I've decided to keep going strong, maybe things were meant to be like this. Sometimes I'm just mad with myself for not being able to express my affections towards the people I really need. Fuck, Imma coward. I overthink of people's opinion and drowning myself into confusion until now. And this is how the earth takes me down, secretly. I wish life would be more fair to me.